Miracle
by Kazo Sakamari
Summary: It was a miracle, but miracles always cost something. Remus wonders and watches his friends.


I own nothing.

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The sky was dark, slowly growing darker as the thick black rain clouds glided effortlessly across the sky. Obscuring the setting sun, shrouding the world in that matte light that comes with rain storms.

Sirius leaned back, feeling the joints and muscles in his body strain and contort and looked over to James.

It was still fall, but winter was coming quick and James stood there, oblivious, his varsity jacket zipped up tight against the shrill wind.

His profile stood out vividly against the dark backdrop, his strong jaw and thick black curls, heavy glasses that had slipped down his proud, noble nose.

James stiffened and he turned suddenly and smiled wanly with his thin, dry lips, catching Sirius in the act.

"Fag?"

Strong tanned hands dug out a crumpled packet of Camels and handed one to Sirius who took it gingerly, holding it like those old fashioned movie stars with his long pale fingers with the neat trimmed nails.

The little flame of the silver zippo brightened the world for a second, casting flickering shadows on their faces, before disappearing and Sirius inhaled deeply, imagining the smoke curling in delicate swirls inside his lungs. The nicotine being sucked up, absorbed by his body, thick hot red blood pumping through his veins.

He exhaled, a blue tower of acrid smoke wafting away and settled onto of the old wooden picnic table, his long grasshopper legs tucked under him.

Beside him James closed his eyes, pushing his glasses up his nose only to have them slip back down a few seconds later.

For a brief moment, everything was still.

...

Remus watched the clouds surging across the sky and felt the heavy air around him. It was going to rain soon.

He sucked in a deep breath, the deep earthy smell of fall rushing in and smiled to himself.

Across the grounds he could see them, sitting on the picnic table, little plumes of smoke melting into the sky.

He could hear their voices too, low and reverberating, the sound bounced around the high stone walls but he couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

Remus knew that he should go over there, say hello. That they would be glad to see him, they would laugh and offer him a cigarette and that would be that.

But he made no effort to move.

Sometimes, sometimes James and Sirius were best left alone.

Slim fingers expertly finished buttoning up his coat and he rested his elbows on the railing, keeping to the shadows of the building as he watched them.

James said something, turning his head just slightly to catch the reaction on his friend's face and Sirius laughed.

It was a different laugh than his normal laugh. Different from the high pitched barking, like a dog who has finally trapped his prey. Which was so fitting sometimes.

No, this laugh was different.

It was deep and heavy, a rumbling laugh that came from far inside Sirius' chest and made Remus think of thick hot coffee and warmth and cinnamon.

Sirius laughed and adjusted himself, lying down along the length of the wooden table and James shifted with him. As if they were one.

Even from across the grounds Remus could see the halo of black hair fanning out from Sirius' head and onto James' lap.

They laughed again, Sirius' warm rumbling and James' smoky chocolate covered laugh, like those campfire treats they made once with the silly name.

The white blue smoke drifted away from their mouths and slowly, with careful precision and obvious intent James leaned down, his face hovering just centimeters from Sirius and Remus' breath hitched.

And then a stream of smoke billowed out and Sirius laughed and Remus relaxed, rolling his shoulders back as he remembered to breathe.

The first few tiny raindrops hit the ground and Remus looked away to study the small dark stain they had made on the stone.

When he looked back up he felt foolish for hiding from them, even more foolish for watching them and he steeled himself and his racing heart as he put one foot in front of the other, making his way across the grass.

The rain was picking up and he got this odd thought that this was what being baptized felt like.

He dismissed it immediately and felt his face contort into a smile as James called out his name and Sirius' eyes danced and tried to ignore the growing stone of guilt in his stomach.

Again, staring into Sirius' pale eyes, miniature droplets clinging to his lashes and hearing James voice, smooth and comforting, Remus wonders how he had ever made friends with such gods.

Gods among men. Among monsters.

The rain was falling thickly now, like bullets pouring down, and he can feel the dampness sinking into his jacket. James and Sirius are laughing again, but it's different now, with him here, and he has a sudden horrible thought. That his luck, their luck is going to run out soon.

Because it was a miracle that they existed, that they accepted him.

And miracles always cost something. And he hadn't paid for his yet.


End file.
